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Originally Posted by chickentribs
If he didn't go on the trip, he doesn't need to explain to your friend that it is your issue. First, it looks like a thinly veiled threat to "tell on you" and look like a victim to whoever will listen.
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Yep ribs, this hit a button for me, too... but he says he doesn't want to lie to her, since she's his friend. He also said that it's my issue, not his, so he wants her to know that. I asked him if he could consider to be "our" issue, since he'd be making a decision to respect my feelings, but he said it was still mostly my problem and he wanted to make that clear. I told him that on the other hand, if he did go, and my family asked what he was up to that weekend (which they prob will), I would be pressed to tell them the truth... but at the same time, I feel like it's safer to just say "he's hanging out with friends" and leave it at that, since essentially it comes down to the two of us, our communication, and our decisions, and other people don't have to know.
That said,
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Originally Posted by chickentribs
Second, trust issues in your relationship aren't for your friends to mull over, and a level of privacy should be expected from each other in an intimate relationship.
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Heh, I think this is true, BUT!!... what's the TFP for, then?
I think outside opinions can be very insightful, and for me they bring me back to the bigger picture usually. So even though the decision comes down to two people, I think outside views can be helpful (if they are wise people).
Tec... we are doing a good job of that, I think. Communication is something we are always striving to do more of.