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Originally Posted by NoSoup
I don't know if I am crossing the line here - if so, please delete my post...
I mean no offence by this TM875, but I am under the assumption that this is a rather typical arguement for those that cheat, or have cheated in the past.
To satisfy my own curiosity, I am going to ask - although I would understand if you chose not to respond.
Have you cheated in the past?
I understand we all have varying optinions on cheating and sex in general, but "If you loved a person (as much as many of you girls/guys claim), then why would one slight indiscretion turn you against them?" doesn't sit well with me.
To me, sex with another person isn't a "slight indescretion" - it is a choice that was made by the person who is cheating. But again, sex to me is something where the rules should be firmly established with your S/O well before anything happens - if sex outside the relationship is acceptable, then it isn't a big deal - but if it is to be held sacred, cheating is certainly not a "slight indescretion" - at least in my opinion...
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NoSoup and Shani, I agree for the most part with TM875 and have never cheated on a SO, including a relationship that lasted 8 years. I was cheated on, and agree with both of you that it is in no way a slight indiscretion. However, I think too many people talk about love, commitment, loyalty, and the popular "unconditional love", and than wrap it in a list of rules and conditions.
Ultimatums and if/then statements seem to back people into a corner based on fear. I guess I would prefer to partner up and deal with each other's mistakes and shortcomings without predetermined punishments. Does that mean you give permission for cheating and lying? Of course not, it means that I want a relationship based on solving problems instead of one based on a zero tolerance policy.