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I was the oldest, with my twin, of 9 children (technically she was older, by four minutes, but thats splitting hairs). My mom, from the time she was married, didn't feel like a mother unless she had a little one at home, and my Dad's an old-school pre Vaican II Catholic, which means he was all for having a new one every 4-5 years until they couldn't have more. My youngest sister is now 6 (22 years younger), and my mom didn't stop until she couldn't have more. Being the oldest in a large family has its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade any of my siblings for the world.
Grace is from a family with seven kids.
So what are we planning? One to start, then wait at least three to four years and decide then. Neither of us wants the stress that comes from being parents of that many kids.
Oldest children tend to mature fastest, do best in school, are more assertive, have better self confidence, and . . . have other psychological advantages I can't think of right now.
Only children are psychologically similar to oldest children, and very similar to oldest children when there is a five year gap or more. Interestingly, younger children get the same advantages as oldest and onlies when there is a five year gap. Children seem to do best when they are the only child at the same developmental stage in a family. This comes, by the way, from a birth order book I read a few years ago, whose name I don't recall. Maybe, The Birth Order Book? Something like that.
Nobody in my family gets the questions yet; because I can't have kids and am in a same sex marriage, nobody asks me or Grace; everyone assumes (wrongly and stupidly) that Sissy doesn't want children (she does; not being able to have them does not lessen the desire), and next in line is 17. My brother graduates high school tomorrow; I wonder when he'll start getting the marriage / family questions. Those are kinda assumed in a devoutly Catholic / Russian orthodox family.
When I was dating my last boyfriend, and took him home to meet the parents, I did get besieged with the when are you getting married questions; it was assumed that we'd have children right away and have a big family. It's very annoying that people assume that what's best for them is what's best for everyone.
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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.
~Steven Colbert
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