Originally Posted by sweetpea

Abaya,

Wow, thank you for such a candid response. And you're right, being honest about one's feelings surrounding children is really important.

I've caught allot of negative responses from people in my life and even my own family . . . the normal response is

"GASP!!!!! ohmygod, why don't you want kids? You won't ever feel like woman not being a mom"

And YES, i've had people tell me exactly that. It's this idea that children complete the woman and somehow Solidify the couple . . turning them into a "FAMILY" . . .

my husband often tells them "I'm happy with just sweetpea, i don't need a child to make me feel like a family, we already are"

But i don't even think it is "selfish" to not want children . . . some people just aren't meant to have them and it's being honest and true to yourself to buck societal trends and go for what you want in life for yourself and your relationship with your spouse.

People often tell me . . . "if you have children, you'll be so much closer to your husband . . . much closer than you are now . . . you'll never get that level without having a family . . ."
And i call bullshit on that. If having children brings you closer . . . then why do so many ppl we know divorce shortly after having a family . . . so sure, it brings you closer together . . . but it also adds a huge amount of stress . . . the focus turns away from the married couple and onto the children . . . the whole concept we have now in our society where the lives revolve around is what turns me off.

Thanks again for your candid and valued comments Abaya.



Sweet Pea