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pig · 05-19-2005, 03:22 PM

I'm going to back the redflags here; from the male perspective I have to say that

1. When I'm into a chick, I generally let her know. Compliments are huge, they should be genuine, and it's sort of common knowledge that most people, not just the ladies, like to be complimented. I fail to understand how your SO could not be aware of this, specifically given that you've discussed it in depth a few times. His refusal to do so is a pretty big deal. You didn't ask him to go pull a Sherman tank down the street with his penis. You asked him to tell you that you're beautiful to him. If that's such a big deal to him....well, it's interesting.

2. I definately don't mind when my (currently theoretical) girlfriend gets hit on by other guys, and I don't have any problems telling her I find another girl attractive...communication has to be open or else she ain't my girlfriend. However, I would feel like an ass if I constantly told her how hot I found other girls, didn't tell her I found her beautiful, and particularly so after she told me this is hurting her feelings. Something is rotten in Denmark

I'm not saying he doesn't love you. I'm not saying he's not attracted to you. I am saying something is going on, and if I were you I'd get to the bottom of it before you get married. If there is something deeper to this than his inability to communicate, find out now. I would also look at how his parents interact with each other.

edit: while it's on my mind, allow me to also say: I'm going to assume that you may indeed have some insecurity issues. Most people do. It may be related to your weight. It may not. Whatever. If you and this guy were doing the old friends avec les benefits; then it wouldn't be his responsibility to help you out in the compliments department. Might make him kind of a dickhead not to, but not really his job. If he's your fiance on the other hand, I think it's part of the bargain that you do things to help each other out...particularly something that's not really that hard to do. Maybe you are needing some help from him to help you with a little image problem...that's something I think you have a right to expect from someone you're going to spend the rest of life (theoretically) with.

05-19-2005, 03:22 PM	#42 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	I'm going to back the redflags here; from the male perspective I have to say that 1. When I'm into a chick, I generally let her know. Compliments are huge, they should be genuine, and it's sort of common knowledge that most people, not just the ladies, like to be complimented. I fail to understand how your SO could not be aware of this, specifically given that you've discussed it in depth a few times. His refusal to do so is a pretty big deal. You didn't ask him to go pull a Sherman tank down the street with his penis. You asked him to tell you that you're beautiful to him. If that's such a big deal to him....well, it's interesting. 2. I definately don't mind when my (currently theoretical) girlfriend gets hit on by other guys, and I don't have any problems telling her I find another girl attractive...communication has to be open or else she ain't my girlfriend. However, I would feel like an ass if I constantly told her how hot I found other girls, didn't tell her I found her beautiful, and particularly so after she told me this is hurting her feelings. Something is rotten in Denmark I'm not saying he doesn't love you. I'm not saying he's not attracted to you. I am saying something is going on, and if I were you I'd get to the bottom of it before you get married. If there is something deeper to this than his inability to communicate, find out now. I would also look at how his parents interact with each other. edit: while it's on my mind, allow me to also say: I'm going to assume that you may indeed have some insecurity issues. Most people do. It may be related to your weight. It may not. Whatever. If you and this guy were doing the old friends avec les benefits; then it wouldn't be his responsibility to help you out in the compliments department. Might make him kind of a dickhead not to, but not really his job. If he's your fiance on the other hand, I think it's part of the bargain that you do things to help each other out...particularly something that's not really that hard to do. Maybe you are needing some help from him to help you with a little image problem...that's something I think you have a right to expect from someone you're going to spend the rest of life (theoretically) with. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style Last edited by pig; 05-19-2005 at 03:31 PM..