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Originally Posted by clavus
Yo, Redlemon - here's some unsolicited advice. Don't be afraid to change your mind. I was in your shoes. The only difference is that my wife is smarter than 99% of everybody and has several degrees to her name, whereas I am...well...I'm not so bright. So it wasn't an even fight. She wanted another kid. I did not. I eventually decided my wife was right...again. And what do ya know? She was right...again. Two kids works out great for us. Maybe two kids is not right for you. I'm very glad that I had the courage to ditch my pride and change my mind.
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Number one, I agree with you. It's up to the woman, it's her body, and mommies call the shots, daddies offer discipline, guidance, and protection. Most daddies are clueless until baby is older anyway. Regardless, if you love her and trust her, you have them. I hope that doesn’t offend anyone, but I honestly feel that part of understanding yourself is having a child. Part of knowing devotion and unconditional love is being a parent. Part of being human is procreation.
Secondly, I've never felt about other kids the way I feel about my own. You can't judge whether you want a child by other peoples’ children or your experience with other kids in general. It's something you just can’t make a clear judgement about until you've walked in the shoes of a parent, and know the love that exists there.
edit: That's not to say that I don't respect people's decisions not to have children. Everyone is different, and people have their reasons or simply cannot. Not to mention, some people
shouldn't have children...
Children are so much more rewarding than they are "a hassle." I learned what true love was when I had my daughter. She's grown up an only child, and she'll be 14 next month. However, after all these years of saying I didn't want another, I now am leaning toward having a second baby.
Never close your mind to change.