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Originally Posted by sweetpea
Sage, you mentioned the word "selfish" Allot of people say it's selfish not to have kids . . . where does that come from i wonder??
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Well, I can speak to this since I mentioned "selfish" in my post. I say that I'm too selfish to have kids, but I don't actually believe that it's a bad thing. I realized a while ago that there are both good and bad kinds of selfishness... and I think it took me a while to realize that being "good" selfish was okay.
For example, just taking time for myself, not having to always sacrifice for others or to feel guilty... because I value who I am and what I have to contribute, and I can't be those things if I don't take time to be on my own. So to me, that's "good" selfishness, and it's the same sort of thing I attach to being a parent (or not): for me, it's better to NOT be a parent, because I really am much happier not having that responsibility and burden of children weighing on me, and having the time to be close to a spouse and travel, volunteer, etc (like you, Sweetpea).
I guess when I said "selfish," I just meant that I like myself (and my relationship w/ktspktsp) too much to have kids, whom I see as taking away from who I am and what I love. I don't think this is a bad thing, though... at least I'm honest about it.