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When you bench, keep your elbows close to your sides. When you press upwards, the elbows should travel straight upwards. Do _not_ let them spread out to the sides away from your torso. When you do that, the arms take more of the load.
As for the chest flys -- if they're working your outer pecs instead of your inner pecs, the arc of your dumbbells is passing too far down your chest. When your bring the dumbbells up, make sure they're passing over your upper pecs, closer to your neck.
Another good exercise for inner pecs, and I guarantee nobody at the gym is doing this, is a narrow-stance pushup, with both hands planted under or almost under your torso. It works. And when it gets to the point where it's too easy, have somebody lay a ten-pound weight plate in the middle of your back.
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