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would you be game to try 69 as an apertif? Might just train yourself to be ok with it. Maybe if you were a little more involved in the activity it would make the one-sided thing less of a turn-off. How about kneeling by her head and giving her a tickle or two where it counts while she does what she wants. I am seriously thinking that you need to be involved in pleasuring her while it is going on in order to enjoy yourself more.
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And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ... 
I'm going with this - if you like artwork visit http://markfineart.ca
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