abaya

This is my technique, as I sometimes feel the way the OP does... and I choose to react VERY positively every time my bf does something nice, not b/c I'm overdoing it but b/c it really DOES mean a lot to me, and I want him to know that I appreciate what he does. Thus he feels more comfortable continuing to do nice things, and I feel better too. I also render him intimate services...

This used to be more of a problem for us, but my bf and I have had some serious talks about the way I interpret his form of attention/inattention to me, and we are both working on it... him, being more affirming --> he's doing a great job <--- and me being less sensitive/insecure. Of course one feeds off the other... it comes down to getting into good habits of affirming, forgiving, communicating, always seeking to improve the relationship.

I think pride and/or laziness can become little roadblocks, as kramus said (and eventually, huge roadblocks)... so really lay down the law with your man and help him realize how much it hurts you when he doesn't put effort into/remember the little things (and give him a chance to say which of your behaviors hurt/frustrate him). In some ways, I think my bf now knows that if we didn't work on these issues, we'd be better off apart... it's that important to me, to feel affirmed regularly in a relationship. Sometimes it does take severe honesty to get your point across.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran