Sound advice from Ambient. I'm a big believer in discussing problems as it's usually the only sure way to resolve the situation one or the other.
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Originally Posted by amge
Oh I have told her how much that hurts to her that her money is her money. She says the amount of "hard" work that I do, doesn't equal the "hard" work that she would put into a job.
I'm in the IT business and yes there are times were I can slack off on the job. But when it's crunch time, or if something goes down. I'm there 100% getting it fixed. She was in sales, so she didn't have that much time for slacking off. She was on her toes all the time. Even after hours. She doesn't think my after/off hour checking of the server to make sure things are running is not "hard" work.
She also says that everything she buys is for "us". Every thing I buy is for "myself"...
So that is why she feels that her money is really "her" money.
Again I smell BS.
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I used to get this shit all the time. Just because I don't 'work' as hard doesn't mean my time is worth less nor my dollar not as valued. Work is work. You put in your time and are compensated. Whether it's fair or not is up to you and your employer and no one else.
She's at home, confused, bored and probably a little depressed. I imagine that's exacerbating the situation. So every little thing (like a bit of spending money, which is important for most folks) is going to turn into something big.
So, I'd take that into consideration when you do talk to her.