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Cereberus · 05-16-2005, 07:11 PM

Ambient1 speakum with great wisdom.

If you only knew how many friends of mine have chimed in with the exact same scenario about "our money" and "her money."

I had one friend (male) who made a moderate income and married a multimillionaire. She bought an expensive house, in her name, and charged him $1000/month for room, board, utilities, and whatnot. Ten years later, when she kicked him out, it was her position that he would get nothing for the ten years of appreciation on the house, which was in the millions. Oh, there was a pre-nup, but after ten years, those things sometimes don't hold up.

I guess the point I'm making is that (in my opinion, admittedly) women EXPECT to be provided for. When you do it, they seem to feel that you're only doing the bare minimum. Many of them will get quite vocal about how you don't make enough money. This is the kind to get away from as quickly as possible.

Make SURE you don't have kids until this is straightened out. My wife and I kind of muddled through that part. She went back to work, we hired a live-in, and then my wife got jealous of the time the nanny spent with my son. One day (right when I had obligated to move to a nicer neighborhood) my wife informed me that she had quit her job a month ago.

We had a few discussions about her expectation (early on) that I was to provide all of the income and do half of the housework. Through the years, it gradually worked out, but I'd sure be upfront with my idea of the division of labor if I had to go through the same situation again. (BTW, I'm still married to the same woman, and we're fine.)

I'm rambling too much. My advice?

1. Make sure she doesn't get pregnant until this is hashed out.
2. Hash it out.
3. Be aware that in your current situation, she would get much more alimony if she split. I hate to say it, but this situation smells to me as if she wants to leave, and is simply priming things to get the maximum settlement. It wouldn't be the first time I've seen such a thing occur. And it really, really sucks to send that check every month.

Since I don't know either one of you, I may be totally wrong. However, I'm confident of two things:

There's a good chance that she's depressed because she's trying to figure out a way to leave you without looking like the bad guy, and

If you were to post an ad anywhere saying you were looking for a replacement for her, and mention that you don't mind providing all the money and doing a goodly portion of the housework, your e-mail server would crash from all of the offers.

P. S. Don't get the motorcycle. I've got a friend who's brain damaged from some idiot who hung a left in front of him. Yes, he was wearing a helmet.

05-16-2005, 07:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
Cereberus Banned	Ambient1 speakum with great wisdom. If you only knew how many friends of mine have chimed in with the exact same scenario about "our money" and "her money." I had one friend (male) who made a moderate income and married a multimillionaire. She bought an expensive house, in her name, and charged him $1000/month for room, board, utilities, and whatnot. Ten years later, when she kicked him out, it was her position that he would get nothing for the ten years of appreciation on the house, which was in the millions. Oh, there was a pre-nup, but after ten years, those things sometimes don't hold up. I guess the point I'm making is that (in my opinion, admittedly) women EXPECT to be provided for. When you do it, they seem to feel that you're only doing the bare minimum. Many of them will get quite vocal about how you don't make enough money. This is the kind to get away from as quickly as possible. Make SURE you don't have kids until this is straightened out. My wife and I kind of muddled through that part. She went back to work, we hired a live-in, and then my wife got jealous of the time the nanny spent with my son. One day (right when I had obligated to move to a nicer neighborhood) my wife informed me that she had quit her job a month ago. We had a few discussions about her expectation (early on) that I was to provide all of the income and do half of the housework. Through the years, it gradually worked out, but I'd sure be upfront with my idea of the division of labor if I had to go through the same situation again. (BTW, I'm still married to the same woman, and we're fine.) I'm rambling too much. My advice? 1. Make sure she doesn't get pregnant until this is hashed out. 2. Hash it out. 3. Be aware that in your current situation, she would get much more alimony if she split. I hate to say it, but this situation smells to me as if she wants to leave, and is simply priming things to get the maximum settlement. It wouldn't be the first time I've seen such a thing occur. And it really, really sucks to send that check every month. Since I don't know either one of you, I may be totally wrong. However, I'm confident of two things: There's a good chance that she's depressed because she's trying to figure out a way to leave you without looking like the bad guy, and If you were to post an ad anywhere saying you were looking for a replacement for her, and mention that you don't mind providing all the money and doing a goodly portion of the housework, your e-mail server would crash from all of the offers. P. S. Don't get the motorcycle. I've got a friend who's brain damaged from some idiot who hung a left in front of him. Yes, he was wearing a helmet.