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amge · 05-16-2005, 02:35 PM

I just had to vent. Maybe someone out here can tell me how to deal with it, or give me some advice on a way to relieve the tension.

Let me get you up to speed on our recent argument/my unhappiness since the begining of this year.

I have been the main source of income for over three years now.

Last year we got married. Don't worry this is not some newly wed problem... We have been together for 14 years, living together for 12 of the 14 years.

But I started to noticed that my wife has been pretty depressed. She says things like why did she go to college to get a degree and yet she just stays at home cleaning the house. (One thing to point out here. is that I have never expected or told her to be a house wife since she quit her job). I make quite a bit of money so we can live without any worries.

She says it's because she was thinking about going back to work because she was bored, but was affraid because she was out of a job for such a long time. She thought the employer would ask why such a big gap. But then she says she wants to start a family and didn't want to go to work because she will just have to quit to raise the kid.

I keep telling her that she doesn't have to go to work, and she can do what ever she wants. LIke I said I have never expected her to do things around the house. I was more than willing to clean up the place or cook dinner, etc

Then she gave me the one answer that just touched my nerve. She said she didn't want to go to work so because she was afraid that her extra money would go to support more things that I wanted to buy. (I have been talking about getting a motorcycle).

Anyways I got so pissed. I said for the past three years I have thought of my income as "ours". She has been in control of the checking account since she quit her job. But now if she makes any income it's her money and not "ours". But yet my income is still "ours". This is BS.

LIke I said I have never asked her or even hinted at her that since she has no job, she has to clean the house, cook the food, or do the laundry. I tell her I will do it but she keeps saying to me that that is her job. Every time she makes dinner or cleans the house I say thank you. And she says thank you for bringing home money so we can eat and have a roof over our heads.

But after she said that if she goes to work then her money is her money, yet my money is "ours" it has just pushed me pass the line.

How do I deal with this. I mean I don't want to say anything because she is already depressed. But shit this just makes me so mad that I am working my ass off everyday to live the way we live.

05-16-2005, 02:35 PM	#1 (permalink)
amge Crazy	Being the main source of income sucks. I just had to vent. Maybe someone out here can tell me how to deal with it, or give me some advice on a way to relieve the tension. Let me get you up to speed on our recent argument/my unhappiness since the begining of this year. I have been the main source of income for over three years now. Last year we got married. Don't worry this is not some newly wed problem... We have been together for 14 years, living together for 12 of the 14 years. But I started to noticed that my wife has been pretty depressed. She says things like why did she go to college to get a degree and yet she just stays at home cleaning the house. (One thing to point out here. is that I have never expected or told her to be a house wife since she quit her job). I make quite a bit of money so we can live without any worries. She says it's because she was thinking about going back to work because she was bored, but was affraid because she was out of a job for such a long time. She thought the employer would ask why such a big gap. But then she says she wants to start a family and didn't want to go to work because she will just have to quit to raise the kid. I keep telling her that she doesn't have to go to work, and she can do what ever she wants. LIke I said I have never expected her to do things around the house. I was more than willing to clean up the place or cook dinner, etc Then she gave me the one answer that just touched my nerve. She said she didn't want to go to work so because she was afraid that her extra money would go to support more things that I wanted to buy. (I have been talking about getting a motorcycle). Anyways I got so pissed. I said for the past three years I have thought of my income as "ours". She has been in control of the checking account since she quit her job. But now if she makes any income it's her money and not "ours". But yet my income is still "ours". This is BS. LIke I said I have never asked her or even hinted at her that since she has no job, she has to clean the house, cook the food, or do the laundry. I tell her I will do it but she keeps saying to me that that is her job. Every time she makes dinner or cleans the house I say thank you. And she says thank you for bringing home money so we can eat and have a roof over our heads. But after she said that if she goes to work then her money is her money, yet my money is "ours" it has just pushed me pass the line. How do I deal with this. I mean I don't want to say anything because she is already depressed. But shit this just makes me so mad that I am working my ass off everyday to live the way we live.