Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - No sex with wife in a year. Having an affair.

KCMadcow · 05-15-2005, 09:54 PM

F-18- Right on (I skipped reading a few before I responded)...that is a great question...how upset could the wife really be? Obviously sex isn't very important to her...

and Demeter, I agree that affairs are very very wrong, but take this thought out of context...

Have you ever laid awake at night trying to figure out why your S/O doesn't love you enough? What you did wrong to make them treat you this way? What YOU could do to change how they feel towards you? Why they would knowingly hurt you in such a painful matter?

The thing is, I'm not descibing being cheated on. I am descibing how it feels to be deserted and lonely in a bed when you're lying next to someone. I typed that out, and then realized it sounded very similar to the questions someone asks themselves when they have been cheated on...the difference is, most of the time when you are cheated on, you don't have to look at that person, day after day, thinking these things over and over. It's the pain of discovering cheating- every moment. When you are cheated on and discover it, you are able to deal with the pain. You talk to them, yell at them, storm out of the room/house. Leave them, stay with them, work through it with them, end it with them. You have all the choices in the world. You can take action on that discovery. When you live/are in love with someone that ignores the sexual/emotional side of you- you get deserted every time you look at them.

You sound like someone who has been cheated on, so it *sounds* like you're looking at it from her point of view as a victim of cheating. I'm looking at it from the other point of view. If you have noticed, I have not villified his wife at all (my ex, yes- his wife, no), because I don't know the whole story. I'm not saying he's right- after all, he is cheating- I'm just saying that there is pain on his side too, pain which caused him to make a mistake.

05-15-2005, 09:54 PM	#109 (permalink)
KCMadcow Upright	F-18- Right on (I skipped reading a few before I responded)...that is a great question...how upset could the wife really be? Obviously sex isn't very important to her... and Demeter, I agree that affairs are very very wrong, but take this thought out of context... Have you ever laid awake at night trying to figure out why your S/O doesn't love you enough? What you did wrong to make them treat you this way? What YOU could do to change how they feel towards you? Why they would knowingly hurt you in such a painful matter? The thing is, I'm not descibing being cheated on. I am descibing how it feels to be deserted and lonely in a bed when you're lying next to someone. I typed that out, and then realized it sounded very similar to the questions someone asks themselves when they have been cheated on...the difference is, most of the time when you are cheated on, you don't have to look at that person, day after day, thinking these things over and over. It's the pain of discovering cheating- every moment. When you are cheated on and discover it, you are able to deal with the pain. You talk to them, yell at them, storm out of the room/house. Leave them, stay with them, work through it with them, end it with them. You have all the choices in the world. You can take action on that discovery. When you live/are in love with someone that ignores the sexual/emotional side of you- you get deserted every time you look at them. You sound like someone who has been cheated on, so it sounds like you're looking at it from her point of view as a victim of cheating. I'm looking at it from the other point of view. If you have noticed, I have not villified his wife at all (my ex, yes- his wife, no), because I don't know the whole story. I'm not saying he's right- after all, he is cheating- I'm just saying that there is pain on his side too, pain which caused him to make a mistake. __________________ Worrying is like a rocking chair...it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere...write that down... - Van Why am I fat? I guess I'll have another donut and think about it... - Me