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Hey, whenever someone screws up, they look to blame someone else, especially if they feel guilt. I'm sure the SD felt tons of guilt for not being there for him. It's her problem, however, and I don't think you should feel one ounce of guilt. You let her know when he died and that was your responsibility.
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If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.
Stangers have the best candy.
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