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This sucks. But you asked for opinions so here is mine. You should have called her. If they had some sort of marginal relationship that soured at the end, and there was a chance for apologies or goodbyes, they should have had that chance.
Sure she should have called him, she is at fault. That really doesn't affect what you could have done, though. I think you give people a chance to make peace if they can. Sorry -
For what it's worth I really respect the fact you were there the last three years to help take care of him. Not enough of that around anymore...
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Oft expectation fails...
and most oft there Where most it promises
- Shakespeare, W.
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