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Originally Posted by raeanna74
After we got married I WAITED for him to remember for several years. Then I decided to remind him. He still didn't know what to get so - nada. Then I told him WHAT I wanted for my B-day - nothing. For Christmas with the family I got him something one year and he didn't want to open it because he hadn't gotten me something and it would look bad. So the next year I bought him something, got myself something, wrapped them both, and then at the family gathering I unwrapped the present for myself that he had YET to see. The family still doesn't know.  So now - I just buy myself something and tell him that I'm considering it my gift from him.
I know he hates shopping for stuff and doesn't always know what to get but when I spell it out for him can it be that bad?? I mean the last time I said I wanted something I showed him a picture of it in a flyer so there was no question where and what and it was cheap - I think less than $5.
He's taken me out for dinner but I was still instramental in lining up the sitter and it was a co-operative effort even then. Surprise me at least once.
For now - I think I'm not gonna ask anymore. I'll just get it myself. |
This... is... unexcuseable. Raeanna, has he seen this thread? Have you told him how his neglect of special days makes you feel? I know some people think special days of any kind, especially Christmas and whatnot, is bullshit... but I am not one of those people, and if I were you I would feel very hurt. I don't think you should enable him to continue forgetting you on the days you would like to be remembered... and also, the fact that you had to organize everything just so he could take YOU out to dinner... that's just very bad form. You should not be required to help HIM show you that he loves you. That should be a no-brainer for him... assuming he knows how you feel about this.
As we've gone over many times in various threads, love is not always about loving someone the way that's easiest for you, but honoring them in ways that makes them feel most loved, in whichever way they receive love best. To me, it means
paying attention to what makes the other person feel really good... whether that's emotionally, physically, verbally, with gifts, time, etc. Whatever it takes to show them that you don't take them for granted.