kramus... you are a strong man for making these decisions as you have. My stepdad got stuck in the exact same rut when he split up with my mom, and she STILL calls on him like he's her personal handyman. My parents have always been codependent and dysfunctional, though, and even in their separation they have not been able to be healthy (though my dad works on it much more than my mom does)... that's after eight years apart.
Yes, it's right to share the responsibility of raising the children still... but other than that, she will have to deal with the consequences of not having you around, including either getting a smaller, less-maintenance-needed house, or asking the children to step up in your absence. It kind of sucks for everyone... probably the kids will feel it the most... but that's life, and they will be better for it if they can fill in that gap themselves.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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