Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

JustJess · 05-04-2005, 08:45 AM

I don't think I would tell him now since it's only a few days away, but I would if there were more time. Now, I'd just think he was doing something cause I reminded him, and that feels worse to me.
Have you tried talking to him and trying to explain that it's important to you emotionally? Perhaps if you say that when he forgets special days, it makes you feel hurt and underappreciated, he might understand better. No one is going to like hearing "you never remember my birthday!!!" even if it's true. I have known other men who just plain don't get it, and they do need the education. My brother-in-law grew up in a house where they didn't bother wrapping presents, or remembering holidays hardly at all, so when he married my sister (from a family where we DO), they both had a lot of adjusting to do. Now he remembers, he comes up with ideas on his own, and even wraps them - even if he goes shopping the night before, it's his thing. Perhaps with some honest discussion of your feelings, your husband can also learn - once he figures out it's about how it makes you feel, not about criticizing him.

I wish you luck - that's a tough one.

05-04-2005, 08:45 AM	#5 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	I don't think I would tell him now since it's only a few days away, but I would if there were more time. Now, I'd just think he was doing something cause I reminded him, and that feels worse to me. Have you tried talking to him and trying to explain that it's important to you emotionally? Perhaps if you say that when he forgets special days, it makes you feel hurt and underappreciated, he might understand better. No one is going to like hearing "you never remember my birthday!!!" even if it's true. I have known other men who just plain don't get it, and they do need the education. My brother-in-law grew up in a house where they didn't bother wrapping presents, or remembering holidays hardly at all, so when he married my sister (from a family where we DO), they both had a lot of adjusting to do. Now he remembers, he comes up with ideas on his own, and even wraps them - even if he goes shopping the night before, it's his thing. Perhaps with some honest discussion of your feelings, your husband can also learn - once he figures out it's about how it makes you feel, not about criticizing him. I wish you luck - that's a tough one. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.