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No, but realizing it IS a major step. If we had only addressed the OP and not looked at the underlying issue, we would not be a very good forum to post to, in my opinion. As you revealed more about the situation in the OP, we responded with more observations.
I did not mean to make you feel stupid. The answer may have become "obvious," but I think everyone here agrees that making the change is the most difficult thing we can imagine. Many of us have been in the same place as you, or we are there now. I do not think you are stupid, and neither does anyone else here as far as I know. We are here for you to help you make the change, if that is what you decide.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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