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I believe we have sexual desire because we evolved that way so that our species could propagate itself (much like other animals do). I believe we evolved to have romantic love because it is in the best interests of our species' survival to have a family unit (much like some animals mate for life). With the number of "out of wedlock" births in recent history, this is probably not as important as it used to be.
Because for most of our history there have been more women than men, it is/was probably good for our species survival that many men are wired to have multiple sexual partners (women too, but probably not as many). I think most relationships where people "fall in love" start out as infatuation and extreme attraction and eventually grow into a more stable kind of love based on our life experiences with each other.
As to the original question that started this thread "Is sex the most important thing", I'd say that it is not but the idea of your partner becoming sexually involved and infatuated with someone else and then wanting to share life experiences with them, is a very important thing. Having sexual desire for someone outside of the relationship is natural but following through on it is a betrayal of trust mostly because it threatens to end it.
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