Quote:
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Originally Posted by Sage
It's not like you can say "well, we've grown apart, I don't love her/him anymore because they're not the person I married." You grow together, respecting the newness that comes with age, or you don't grow at all.
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That's a very good and bold observation, Sage. You don't marry the person who fits you so perfectly at a singular, brilliant moment in life (though good marriages may start that way)... you marry the person who will grow with you, even at different rates... when one person grows or "runs" faster in one area, he or she pauses to jog in place, quite willing to wait for you to catch up and run with them rather than leave you in the dust... and you are willing to do the same for him or her. That's growing together, that's marriage (in the universal, trans-legal sense).
On the other hand, I think this is why so many people cop out early with the excuse of "irreconciliable differences," because they just gave up trying... they grew impatient with waiting for the catch-up (indeed, sometimes the difference can be too great, but this should be realized before marriage I think). Even something as seemingly natural as sex becomes very hard work at times in a marriage, and if both people are not committed to work on it till death parts them... well, why get married? (and I understand and respect when some people consciously choose against marriage because they realize they do not want to be in this kind of situation... that's a very honest and hard thing to do, too).