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Originally Posted by lindseylatch
hello? can we say nature? Duh, most people who want a kid want the child to be their own genetic material. Otherwise, all that work you put into raising them is wasted, because there are none of your genes in that individual. It's natural for people to want kids to be their own. Of course, a lot of people overcome that urge for the "greater good" and do adopt. But that's usually if they can never ever have kids of their own, no matter what they do.
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Whoa, WASTED?!? I'm sure a lot of adopted kids and adoptive parents would find this point of view very offensive. It's natural for people to want their kids to be "their own" but there's so much more to making kids "your own" than genetics. I think framing adoption as the "oh well" last-ditch option is kind of insulting - I know a lot of adoptive parents who didn't even have second thoughts about it. When they found out they couldn't conceive naturally, they looked at the risks and costs associated with fertility treatment, and just shrugged and were happy to have ANY child. I think framing a natural urge to have kids who are genetically yours as justification for any extreme actions to make that happen is dangerous and frankly selfish. Just because we CAN do some stuff doesn't mean we SHOULD. Particularly given some of the recent studies on the higher likelihood of developmental and other health problems in IVF babies. Seems selfish to condemn a kid to a lifetime of problems just because you can't get over your own biological imperative.