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Originally Posted by chickentribs
Rather it is that I learned to appreciate the value of a small steady stream of affection for my SO, and for me it was a reminder to keep that person important when I get caught up with work and life and I tend to push things (people) to another "shelf" in my priority list. Eh, it makes sense to me anyway...!
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Yes Ribs, what you say here makes perfect sense to me, actually. See, an old dog CAN learn new tricks... you were saying earlier that people don't change, just accept them the way they are. A good point, definitely. But I believe that for a relationship to work, each person has to work damn hard to form new habits in order to overcome the old ones. Either that or seek out someone whose old habits are the same as theirs, and therefore require less work.
As for your suggestion: heh, I think I've asked him for letters and cards more than a few times, and he does come through on holidays and emergencies. I go back and read the ones that I have very often, as a proxy for what I need to hear. He does also call me often to say hello, so it's not that he's lacking in that area. In fact I don't really think he's lacking in many areas, that's the problem... it's me with the insecurity, it seems. But I thank you kindly for your suggestions through this night
and I will talk with him again tomorrow about all this.
(Am I threadjacking my own thread?)
Let's bring it back around. Who among you TFP'ers says I love you, how often, and why? More importantly, how to resolve things when two people are very different in this aspect?