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Guthmund: your last paragraph reminds me a lot of ktspktsp's position. Definitely not a bad thing... but it takes some getting used to, if one grew up getting used to something more regular.
I'm not sure if the point is about forcing someone into the emotion of saying I love you. I think most people understand that there is no love in force...
But what I am curious about is why some individuals, even on this thread, feel compelled to say it so much more often (and here often = more than once a day, not every minute or hour as a flippant comment tagged on to everything), and it really does mean something for them each time... it is not just said for validation... while others are content to wait until they are "overcome" with love to say anything?
As a member of the first group, I can only explain that I want to say it more often because I do feel "overcome" that often... and to hold in my expression of that, pains me. And somehow, in return, I desire for my bf to express similar things, in my hope that we are both constantly overcome by our love... is that a need for validation? I can accept that that is part of it, but why is a verbal expression so difficult for some, and so easy for others... insecurity doesn't suffice to explain this difference.
And now I will ramble: why does it come so much easier to my bf when we are physically together, when he is already affirming me in many other ways (physically, for one)... but then when we are hundreds of miles apart each week, he knows that I long for affectionate words even more in the distance... and yet he does not express such things? It is a puzzle to me, even though he and I have discussed this.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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