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If the sex is fine, then it's a very small part of the relationship. However, when it goes wrong, it can be a BIG part of the problem. I think communication is always a big part of a relationship, and it can fix many of the smaller problems.
As for the fidelity, that is not just about sex, but about TRUST. Which is even more important than just sex. If there's no trust, then there's no happiness. I cannot be happy with someone I cannot trust, so it's not giving up happiness because someone was unfaithful. It's realizing that you won't be happy with them in the long run.
Of course, from a evolutionary point of view, this is a very reasonable attitude. If a woman cheats, then you can't be sure that any children she has are yours. And if a man cheats, then he may be splitting his resources between two families.
Now, women in a shelter are not really a good population to generalize from. Their psychology is vastly different from the majority of other people. They've often been victimized in the past, and so don't necesarily see that they're giving up safety for fidelity (although I can't imagine the fidelity is the biggest thing they see in their spouse, I think it's the "love").
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-Voltaire
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