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chickentribs · 04-26-2005, 05:20 PM

Is sex the most important part of a marriage? In many threads, especially the threads that deal with infidelity, it is often declared that "If anyone ever cheated on me, that would be the end! I would never tolerate that from anybody! That is the absolute worse thing somebody can do to you!"

First, volunteer at a woman's shelter for a day and you will see there are a lot of things worse that can be done to a person. Infidelity is most certainly selfish, but I doubt that it is rarely done with malice, hate, or cruel intent towards another. It is more a crime driven by complacency in a relationship with the hope it is never found out by the other person. Many women I have met at the shelters take a daily beating from some pathetic excuse for a man but go back to him because "He loves me... He would never cheat on me." and they are right!! He is way to busy controlling his wife through fear and right hooks to waste time with another woman. King of 1 is enough.

An extreme example, I know. But the point is that these women value fidelity over basic kindness (not to mention safety), and I find that absurd. From your posts I know many of you would compromise happiness for fidelity, or at least you tell others they should. Is love really that conditional and dependant on the sex pact you made with your partner? A moment of weakness, caving into the purest human drive under who knows what circumstances and that's it? No more love? Not love, but rather fidelity conquers all?

I think there are better, more important measures of a couple's love. Two would be shared goals and patience. If my partner wanted different things out of life than me or was impatient with who I am as a person, they could chain themselves to our bed and give me the key. Bleh. Likewise, finding out they had lost their head and slept with someone else would not change either of those two things about them for me. Would it hurt? Yes, and it has when I was cheated on in the past - a whole lot. Love them and move on.

1 - I am not married, but was once briefly and apparently not very good at it.
2 - I have never cheated on a S.O.

So what is the most important thing in a marriage, and if it is the sex, why?

04-26-2005, 05:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
chickentribs Addict Location: Mansion by day/Secret Lair by night	Is sex really the most important thing?? Is sex the most important part of a marriage? In many threads, especially the threads that deal with infidelity, it is often declared that "If anyone ever cheated on me, that would be the end! I would never tolerate that from anybody! That is the absolute worse thing somebody can do to you!" First, volunteer at a woman's shelter for a day and you will see there are a lot of things worse that can be done to a person. Infidelity is most certainly selfish, but I doubt that it is rarely done with malice, hate, or cruel intent towards another. It is more a crime driven by complacency in a relationship with the hope it is never found out by the other person. Many women I have met at the shelters take a daily beating from some pathetic excuse for a man but go back to him because "He loves me... He would never cheat on me." and they are right!! He is way to busy controlling his wife through fear and right hooks to waste time with another woman. King of 1 is enough. An extreme example, I know. But the point is that these women value fidelity over basic kindness (not to mention safety), and I find that absurd. From your posts I know many of you would compromise happiness for fidelity, or at least you tell others they should. Is love really that conditional and dependant on the sex pact you made with your partner? A moment of weakness, caving into the purest human drive under who knows what circumstances and that's it? No more love? Not love, but rather fidelity conquers all? I think there are better, more important measures of a couple's love. Two would be shared goals and patience. If my partner wanted different things out of life than me or was impatient with who I am as a person, they could chain themselves to our bed and give me the key. Bleh. Likewise, finding out they had lost their head and slept with someone else would not change either of those two things about them for me. Would it hurt? Yes, and it has when I was cheated on in the past - a whole lot. Love them and move on. 1 - I am not married, but was once briefly and apparently not very good at it. 2 - I have never cheated on a S.O. So what is the most important thing in a marriage, and if it is the sex, why? __________________ Oft expectation fails... and most oft there Where most it promises - Shakespeare, W.