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Born Against
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Sexual pleasure and religion
This poll is motivated by this news article I read today; the choices on the poll assume that sex is between two (or more) people.
I know next to nothing about Judaism, and was pleasantly surprised to learn that:
"The message that sexuality is good is deeply rooted in the Judaic tradition, whose Talmud -- commentaries on the Old Testament -- states that when people die, they appear before God to account for all the legitimate pleasures in life that they denied themselves."
So, I guess, if you ever don't take the opportunity to have pleasurable sex, then after you die you'll have to explain why to God, for every time you did this. I like that philosophy 
Quote:
The Dallas Morning News
April 13, 2005, Wednesday
SECTION: LIFESTYLE
HEADLINE: Connecting sexuality and spirit
BYLINE: By Toni Weingarten
DALLAS -- There was a time when someone wanting to talk about sex would seek understanding anywhere but at church. Religion, after all, has often preached sex as sin - a dirty and shameful urge, something far from sacred spirit, and best left alone.
Well, times have changed.
"You go back to Hebrew Scriptures in Genesis and it says God saw all that he'd created and found it good," said Sister Lorita Moffatt, of the Catholic Mercy Center in Burlingame, Calif. "When we really connect with our sexuality, that connects us with God, and that moves us to different levels of awareness and consciousness of what it means to be sexual."
Human sexuality should be viewed as a gift from God, said the Rev. Ron Rolheiser, president of the Oblate School of Theology in San Antonio, Texas.
"In its purest teaching, which wasn't always evident, the church has always taught that sex is a sacred force, not sinful," said Father Rolheiser, author of "The Holy Longing," an often-quoted book on the human desire to connect, spiritually and sexually.
He acknowledged that for most of history this teaching hasn't been the most popular.
Historically, Father Rolheiser said, the church has viewed itself as a defender of family life -- and, therefore, it's been extremely cautious in its approach to the potent force of human sexuality.
While that's led many church leaders to want to suppress frank discussions of sex, he said, "the church ... is a massive organization that has millions of people speaking for it ... At its purest best, the church has always taught that sex is not sinful."
Father Ron and Sister Lorita represent a fresh movement in Christian spirituality, one recognizing sexuality as an integral part of being human and not something to be set apart from spirit. In their view, cultures err when they separate sex from spirit, thereby reducing sex to a physical act divorced from a desire to be closer to others, and to God.
Bishop T.D. Jakes of the Potter's House in southeast Dallas said in an interview on Beliefnet.com that sex remains one of the church's taboo subjects, "and because we never talk about them, we open up doors for them to be misappropriated."
He added, "We're taught to believe that being a Christian means that you should have no interest in (sex) ... It's so hypocritical because in reality it's part of the human experience."
The result when people suppress healthy discussion of sexuality is, "either they don't talk about it, or on the other extreme, that's all they talk about," Bishop Jakes said.
While you may not have heard this message on sexuality from your pulpit, it is spreading. And one who is spreading it is Tommy Nelson, pastor of Denton Bible Church. He teaches a nationally acclaimed seminar on the Song of Songs (also known as the Song of Solomon), the Old Testament book in which Solomon woos, weds and experiences love -- physical and emotional -- with his wife.
Nelson said many Christians have viewed sex as original sin, only to be endured -- even in marriage -- for procreation.
Why?
He said mankind has a tendency to think that anything enjoyable must be bad for us. The church, he said, has a pattern of "throwing out the baby, the bathwater and the rubber ducky" when it comes to pleasurable things like music, films -- and sex.
"There are a lot of errant notions in movies, and it's easier to throw them all out than to think critically," he said.
The Bible, he said, clearly states that sex is to be enjoyed -- within the confines of marriage. He quotes this advice to newlyweds in the Song of Songs 5:1: "Eat friends, drink and imbibe deeply, oh lovers."
The message that sexuality is good is deeply rooted in the Judaic tradition, whose Talmud -- commentaries on the Old Testament -- states that when people die, they appear before God to account for all the legitimate pleasures in life that they denied themselves. This is a passage that Sandra Lommasson, a 56-year-old Protestant, recounts when she works as a spiritual director at the Bread of Life Center in Davis, Calif. She also teaches workshops on sexuality and spirituality to spiritual directors around the country.
Spiritual direction is an ancient practice -- based in part on the teachings of St. Ignatius -- used to guide people in their quest for spiritual enlightenment. It is one realm in which religion's newfound positive message on sexuality takes prominence.
Spiritual direction is not therapy. In direction, people don't analyze their situation; they seek to know, and be known by, the mystery of God.
But, as in therapy, feelings arise in spiritual direction -- all kinds of feelings.
Spiritual directors say that as people get more connected to God and spirit, they often become more physically attuned as well. This stirring surprises, and even alarms, some who were taught that sex has no place around God.
"I had been someone who did not live much in my body for most of my life," said Lommasson. "We live in a very disembodied culture, so that wasn't that unusual. I had fallen in love with God but it was pretty much of an idea, because that was safer. I ... left the body behind for the realm of spirit."
Marjorie Hoyer Smith, 66, a Presbyterian minister and another spiritual director with Bread of Life, said she grew up in a conservative church where sex education consisted of "Don't!" and "Keep your legs together!"
Such attitudes, she said, reduce sex to "being just about intercourse, almost pornographic."
Steven Wirth, 45, a practicing Catholic and a spiritual director in Louisville, Ky., said: "In Western culture we tend to think of sexuality as a physical need -- and so it becomes mechanical -- I'm hungry so I need to eat.
"If it's only a need ... there's not a depth there, or an integrity with my soul, spirit and life. I'm suggesting that there is in us, at our very core, the energy to ... connect and share love."
Smith said people who come to her for direction from conservative religious backgrounds are often uncomfortable with their sexual feelings.
"You can tell they want to talk about it but they skirt around it, their cheeks get red, they don't know how to broach the subject," she said. She advises them, "One can expand one's ability to be sensual -- taste that delicious pear, feel the sun against your skin, appreciate male and female, enjoy their presences -- but not flip over into the sexual."
Nelson said he likes to counsel people on the joys of "re-creational sex." That's not the same as recreational sex.
In re-creational sex, he said, a husband and wife revisit their honeymoon. They take time to talk gently with one another, treat each other kindly and enjoy each other in sex. They re-create their original love.
Whether sex is to be enjoyed only within marriage is a point of disagreement among those interviewed for this story. However, all agree that sex is about the deepest form of connection with others -- and with God -- and therefore those who think it can be casual are fooling themselves.
"You can watch TV any given night -- watch 'Sex and the City' -- and get the sense that sex can be recreational, casual, and if some people want to make it deep, they can," said Father Rolheiser. "As if it is a power that we can set the parameters for."
Unlike sitcom characters, he said, real people have deep instincts, "soul things ... jealousy and murderous rage," that can surface when sexual relationships go awry -- such as when a partner has an affair or when we treat sex as mere entertainment.
"We live in a world with mixed signals," the priest said. "So much around us says (sex) can be casual, and there's a whole lot inside of us that says it can't be."
Lommasson favors the metaphor of sex as a sacred fire, one that must be carefully tended to warm and nurture us. Treated carelessly and allowed to run wild, it can cause destruction, she said.
"We need to stay energized -- on fire -- but integrated, together," she said.
Nelson agreed. "History and experience bear it out that sex is a bad thing when it's done indiscriminately."
And for those who think that joining sex and religion makes for a dull combination, one nun says not so.
"Sacred doesn't mean it can't be playful," said Sister Lorita. "The deeper the relationship, the more serious, playful, intimate -- all of that -- you can be."
http://www.nwanews.com/story_print.p...storyid=113685
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