|
Two Snail Jokes - Forgive Me If They're Repeats
A snail goes to a Cadillac dealership and buys a new car. But when he buys it he has specific instructions for the dealer. " I want you to give it a paint job" says the snail.
"Sure, what colour?" says the dealer.
"I want you to paint a big red S on the hood, the doors, the roof and the trunk." instructs the snail.
"Sure thing," says the dealer, "but can I ask why?"
The snail looks at him and explains:
" So when I go driving up and down the strip all the people watching me say "Look at that S Car Go!!!!
And Number two.
A snail walks into a bar. Walks up and orders a beer. The bartender says "we don't serve snails here."
The snail objects, and the two get into a long, heated argument about it. Finally the bartender gets pissed off, and flicks the snail as far as he can off the barstool, and the snail flies across the room...
...A year later the bartender is doing a shift, and he looks down, and wouldn't you know it, he sees the snail there. The snail looks up at him and says "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR???"
__________________
I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace
But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys
|