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MooseMan3000 · 04-21-2005, 06:14 PM

Alright, so some of you may remember this thread:

Bubba the 22 lb. Lobster

Well, my brother caught his brother.

For the past month or so my brother has been gillnetting. For those of you who don't know, this is a method of fishing by which a large boat drags a very long net along the ocean floor and catches everything on it. The majority of the catch consists of pollock, but there are lots of other things in it, too... including lobsters.

My grandparents are here for a few weeks from Montana, and they requested lobster one night. Tonight's my mother's birthday, and tomorrow is both my grandmother's and grandfather's birthday, so when my brother came in to port yesterday with fish, we decided to have a family dinner. While he was out this afternoon, he told me to go to the house to get the lobster and the lobster cooker (just a very large pot and a propane heater) to cook it in - the first sign that this thing was going to be a little larger than normal. Little did I know just how much larger.

So I get the cooler, spend an hour looking for the large pot (for those of you who care, it was in his bathroom. Don't ask me why.), and go on my merry way. I get back to my mom's apartment and start to walk up the stairs with the cooler. Near the top of the stairs, I realize my arms are burning... this thing is heavier than I thought. When I set it down, I decide to open it up, and what do I find? The largest lobster I've ever personally seen. This thing is enormous. Its crusher claw is approximately the size of my head. There are no rubber bands that can hold this thing... instead, it has several layers of electrical tape holding it shut.

Fast forward a few hours. We found out that it won't fit in even the cooker pot. So we cut it into several pieces, and the tail gets baked, while the rest of it gets boiled (along with the other, more normal sized lobster).

Fast forward another half hour, when it's just about cooked. My friend Ronny and I decide to see if it's actually done. After a little fiasco trying to figure out how to get the claw out of the boiling water (none of our tongs will fit around it), we get it onto a plate... sort of. Actually, it's about half on the plate, and the other half is resting on my thigh, which is now thoroughly soaked in scalding lobster water. Ronny then rushes to find something larger to put it on, and he returns with a sixteen inch square piece of particle board, to which I gladly relieve the claw.

Then we have to figure out how to actually test it. Being experienced lobster eaters, we decide the best way to break open the claw is the way we always do it - with our hands. So we break the small section off with ease, but that doesn't do us much good, because we need to test the large piece. After about 2 minutes of valiant effort on Ronny's part, we decide that mere hands won't be sufficient to break it, so we move on. We retrieve a large steak knife with which to pry it. When the knife bends, we decide drastic measures need to be taken - so I grab one of the conveniently located claw hammers (for all you viewers, the renovations happening here mean there's almost always at least one claw hammer within arm's reach).

After three or four might blows each, it becomes apparent that this lobster is tougher than we reckoned, as it hasn't even been scratched. After brief consideration, I decide to reverse the hammer and take claw to claw in an epic battle of wills. After about five more swings, I finally make some progress. The claws sink firmly into the shell, leaving two small slits in the side of the claw. In an effort not to damage the meat further, I again reverse the hammer and take it to the newly weakened spot on the shell. After just a few more swings, I finally pierce the mighty armor and find the succulent meat inside. We each take a small piece of the meat to taste and determine that it is in fact finished. In a similar fashion, we break the rest of the lobster up and bring it upstairs to be served.

As it turns out, this "family dinner" ended up being me, my three siblings, my mother, my two grandparents, my sister's fiancee, Ronny, and four of my brother's friends. In case you lost count, that's thirteen people - and it's about six more than we planned on having for dinner. Fortunately, in addition to the 10 pound halibut, 12 oysters, mounds of squash and salad, we had (approximately) 20 pounds of lobster - 15 of which came from this behemoth. Before cooking, and cleaning, it weighed about 18 pounds. For you English, that's more than a stone. For the rest of the world, that's about 8.2 kilograms.

And now, the moment I'm sure you've all been waiting for, the pictures.

I first opened the cooler and let my dog, Bandit have a looksee. He is much intrigued by this strange thing.

I give him a closer look, but he keeps his distance. Note the electrical tape on the claw, and the smaller lobster (still about 7 pounds) in the cooler.

And finally, to give you a real idea of how big it is, a comparison picture. On the left is my grandpa. In the middle is the lobster. On the right is my scruffy ass.

Well, I guess that does it.

Oh, and about the debate over whether smaller lobsters taste better than big ones... it's absolutely true. This guy, while awfully tasty, was a grizzled old bastard, and you could taste it in his tough meat. But it was still fun.

04-21-2005, 06:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
MooseMan3000 wouldn't mind being a ninja. Location: Maine, the Other White State.	Lobster time! Alright, so some of you may remember this thread: Bubba the 22 lb. Lobster Well, my brother caught his brother. For the past month or so my brother has been gillnetting. For those of you who don't know, this is a method of fishing by which a large boat drags a very long net along the ocean floor and catches everything on it. The majority of the catch consists of pollock, but there are lots of other things in it, too... including lobsters. My grandparents are here for a few weeks from Montana, and they requested lobster one night. Tonight's my mother's birthday, and tomorrow is both my grandmother's and grandfather's birthday, so when my brother came in to port yesterday with fish, we decided to have a family dinner. While he was out this afternoon, he told me to go to the house to get the lobster and the lobster cooker (just a very large pot and a propane heater) to cook it in - the first sign that this thing was going to be a little larger than normal. Little did I know just how much larger. So I get the cooler, spend an hour looking for the large pot (for those of you who care, it was in his bathroom. Don't ask me why.), and go on my merry way. I get back to my mom's apartment and start to walk up the stairs with the cooler. Near the top of the stairs, I realize my arms are burning... this thing is heavier than I thought. When I set it down, I decide to open it up, and what do I find? The largest lobster I've ever personally seen. This thing is enormous. Its crusher claw is approximately the size of my head. There are no rubber bands that can hold this thing... instead, it has several layers of electrical tape holding it shut. Fast forward a few hours. We found out that it won't fit in even the cooker pot. So we cut it into several pieces, and the tail gets baked, while the rest of it gets boiled (along with the other, more normal sized lobster). Fast forward another half hour, when it's just about cooked. My friend Ronny and I decide to see if it's actually done. After a little fiasco trying to figure out how to get the claw out of the boiling water (none of our tongs will fit around it), we get it onto a plate... sort of. Actually, it's about half on the plate, and the other half is resting on my thigh, which is now thoroughly soaked in scalding lobster water. Ronny then rushes to find something larger to put it on, and he returns with a sixteen inch square piece of particle board, to which I gladly relieve the claw. Then we have to figure out how to actually test it. Being experienced lobster eaters, we decide the best way to break open the claw is the way we always do it - with our hands. So we break the small section off with ease, but that doesn't do us much good, because we need to test the large piece. After about 2 minutes of valiant effort on Ronny's part, we decide that mere hands won't be sufficient to break it, so we move on. We retrieve a large steak knife with which to pry it. When the knife bends, we decide drastic measures need to be taken - so I grab one of the conveniently located claw hammers (for all you viewers, the renovations happening here mean there's almost always at least one claw hammer within arm's reach). After three or four might blows each, it becomes apparent that this lobster is tougher than we reckoned, as it hasn't even been scratched. After brief consideration, I decide to reverse the hammer and take claw to claw in an epic battle of wills. After about five more swings, I finally make some progress. The claws sink firmly into the shell, leaving two small slits in the side of the claw. In an effort not to damage the meat further, I again reverse the hammer and take it to the newly weakened spot on the shell. After just a few more swings, I finally pierce the mighty armor and find the succulent meat inside. We each take a small piece of the meat to taste and determine that it is in fact finished. In a similar fashion, we break the rest of the lobster up and bring it upstairs to be served. As it turns out, this "family dinner" ended up being me, my three siblings, my mother, my two grandparents, my sister's fiancee, Ronny, and four of my brother's friends. In case you lost count, that's thirteen people - and it's about six more than we planned on having for dinner. Fortunately, in addition to the 10 pound halibut, 12 oysters, mounds of squash and salad, we had (approximately) 20 pounds of lobster - 15 of which came from this behemoth. Before cooking, and cleaning, it weighed about 18 pounds. For you English, that's more than a stone. For the rest of the world, that's about 8.2 kilograms. And now, the moment I'm sure you've all been waiting for, the pictures. I first opened the cooler and let my dog, Bandit have a looksee. He is much intrigued by this strange thing. I give him a closer look, but he keeps his distance. Note the electrical tape on the claw, and the smaller lobster (still about 7 pounds) in the cooler. And finally, to give you a real idea of how big it is, a comparison picture. On the left is my grandpa. In the middle is the lobster. On the right is my scruffy ass. Well, I guess that does it. Oh, and about the debate over whether smaller lobsters taste better than big ones... it's absolutely true. This guy, while awfully tasty, was a grizzled old bastard, and you could taste it in his tough meat. But it was still fun.