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To me, "sex" is any arousing act that you'd feel embarrassed (or for some, more excited) if someone walked in on you. It's a state of being, not a definition.
Definitions are for words, and if you're having words with someone it usually doesn't lead to sex.
Reminds me of an old story of a king who had decided to write down all the laws, so that everyone could see them. Prior to this the laws were sort of an oral tradition, spoken and passed around. A local sage advised against it, however, saying "My lord, if you use words to describe the laws, what words will you use to describe the words?"
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