God, I know what a shotgun blast it can be if someone tells you they don't love you anymore, but having someone cheat on you must be like taking a land mine to the chest. Cry, vent, get all that nasty emotion out- it's going to be welling up from a dark place within you for a long time. But that's ok, because eventually that dark place will be all used up, and you won't have any of those feelings anymore. Eventually you'll realize that she's a human being too, and while you had a past together, you've grown out of that point of your life. This is a huge growing time- time to figure out just where your life is going. It's an oppurtunity, alebiet a painful one.
Get her name off of EVERYTHING, RIGHT NOW. Go talk to an attorney- I know it's hard but all you have to do is call one, I'm sure they'll be most helpful because they know you're in emotional distress. They'll tell you the immediate things to do- you need to put the clamp down NOW so she doesn't get all crazy vindictive bitch on your ass later.
Also, try and talk with her, and DON'T bottle anything up! You don't have kids, so that's good, but if you're not careful you'll be ranting about "that crazy bitch of an ex-wife" for the rest of your life. Don't be like that- it's not pretty.
There IS someone out there for you, who will love you with the divine love that Martel and I have found (along with lots of other people!) Keep the faith, be true to yourself- and, as the dean of my boarding school said once-
"Always remember- T.T.T.- THINGS TAKE TIME!"
