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sexymama · 04-19-2005, 06:32 PM

Zegal -- you are doing a great job, just by being able to identify what needs to improve and how to improve it! That in itself is major! Remember, there is no such thing as the perfect parent or the perfect child. Thank God for that -- we can make mistakes and still do an overall good job!

I made the mistake of not "making" my son brush his teeth. He was a teenager so I believed him when he said, "believe me mom, I don't want rotten teeth." Well, his dental bill when he got his braces removed was over $3,000. Some boundaries are just necessary. Now one of my daughter's teeth are checked by me regularly. She doesn't like to brush. I don't, however, worry about the other who brushes more than I do.

That said, I really started out to comment on "one liners." Jim Faye from Love and Logic says to use one liners when stuck. Here are some examples:
5-year-old cleans up 5 minutes before bedtime and then wants to watch the movie: your response, "good try."
Last weekend my daughter didn't check in after spending the night with a friend and prior to going to a movie with her. Lebell and I worried for 4 hours (called police and everything as we didn't know if she'd been in an accident.) I was 5 hours away at a gym meet. When she called to tell me she was home, I said, "don't worry about the consequences right now, we'll talk about it when I get home." Of course she spent 5 hours worrying. What a great leason. The one liner -- "don't worry."

Gee -- I can't think of more right now, but they do work and there are a lot of good ones out there. What I like about them is that they make parenting fun. I'll try to work on more and post them later.

04-19-2005, 06:32 PM	#23 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	Zegal -- you are doing a great job, just by being able to identify what needs to improve and how to improve it! That in itself is major! Remember, there is no such thing as the perfect parent or the perfect child. Thank God for that -- we can make mistakes and still do an overall good job! I made the mistake of not "making" my son brush his teeth. He was a teenager so I believed him when he said, "believe me mom, I don't want rotten teeth." Well, his dental bill when he got his braces removed was over $3,000. Some boundaries are just necessary. Now one of my daughter's teeth are checked by me regularly. She doesn't like to brush. I don't, however, worry about the other who brushes more than I do. That said, I really started out to comment on "one liners." Jim Faye from Love and Logic says to use one liners when stuck. Here are some examples: 5-year-old cleans up 5 minutes before bedtime and then wants to watch the movie: your response, "good try." Last weekend my daughter didn't check in after spending the night with a friend and prior to going to a movie with her. Lebell and I worried for 4 hours (called police and everything as we didn't know if she'd been in an accident.) I was 5 hours away at a gym meet. When she called to tell me she was home, I said, "don't worry about the consequences right now, we'll talk about it when I get home." Of course she spent 5 hours worrying. What a great leason. The one liner -- "don't worry." Gee -- I can't think of more right now, but they do work and there are a lot of good ones out there. What I like about them is that they make parenting fun. I'll try to work on more and post them later. __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.