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Perhaps your feelings stem from the fact that you said you were 'taught' it's bad...you were taught wrong.
Then you feed on those thoughts that, since you're such a bad person, no one will ever want you. You can see where this is going-you're building negative thought upon another. It has NOTHING to do with your pasttime and everything to do with the subconscious trying to make you feel guilty over it. You need to get rid of those wrongful teachings.
Every animal masturbates at some level. It's normal.
And don't hesitate to seek professional help for those times you need it. We go to doctors for physical ailments-we really need to stop this train of thought that tells us mental ailments need no fixing.
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