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Originally Posted by lurkette
I don't mean to be the pessimistic voice over here, but here goes...
Why are you with her?
1. You clearly want different things - she wants a commitment, you do not. I don't see anything wrong with either of your positions, they're just incompatible.
2. She's lying to you and you're snooping on her. Sounds like an absence of trust and communication.
3. If you're seriously bothered by her credit rating and its effect on your finances, I wouldn't recommend getting married. 1. bad news, 2. not the concerns of a man in love.
If you're not willing/able to address these things with her openly, then maybe she might be better off with someone else, and you would be better off without her. If you want a long-term relationship, it sounds like she's not the one. If you don't, you'd be doing her a favor by releasing her to go find someone to marry.
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1. You are probably right here. I think I've just fallen into that comfortable spot and just decided to hover. I'm 24 right now. She's 21. Neither of us are at an age where we should be looking for marriage yet. She has even brought this up a few times within the past 6 months.
2. I wasn't snooping. I accidently came across this. If this has been happening for 4 months, and I was trying to snoop, I could have put spy software on the computer to monitor her chat and email, which I did not, nor will not do.
3. At 24, now is not the time to fuck up my credit. Maybe once I purchase my next house, but I'm doing this as an investment for my future. I seriously doubt I will ever have a job at a company that will give me retirement benefits, so this is the next best way I see to provide for the future.
I have thought this out for about three years and if my credit goes to shit, so does my life.