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Originally Posted by lurkette
I don't mean to be the pessimistic voice over here, but here goes...
Why are you with her?
1. You clearly want different things - she wants a commitment, you do not. I don't see anything wrong with either of your positions, they're just incompatible.
2. She's lying to you and you're snooping on her. Sounds like an absence of trust and communication.
3. If you're seriously bothered by her credit rating and its effect on your finances, I wouldn't recommend getting married. 1. bad news, 2. not the concerns of a man in love.
If you're not willing/able to address these things with her openly, then maybe she might be better off with someone else, and you would be better off without her. If you want a long-term relationship, it sounds like she's not the one. If you don't, you'd be doing her a favor by releasing her to go find someone to marry.
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As I was reading responses, this post was forming almost word for word in my mind. I support the idea of taking your time to becoming sure if you want to marry, but with the evidence presented and your reactions to it, it seems like there are a couple 'deal breakers' already. I say both parties should cut their losses and call it quits.
(Grain of salt: Of course, years ago I was -maybe- cheated on and I never found out for sure. A few relationships later, it took me a couple more years then it should have to propose.)