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Studies and child psychologists all agree that children want boundries.
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That is garbage in two respects: I seriously doubt all psychologists will agree on anything, certainly all agreeing on your statement 2) My parenting advice does have boundaries: respect and dignity.
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It is one way that they know their parents care about them.
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You don't need complex systems of rules, punishments, and rewards to show your children that you care. Here you are conflating permissiveness with neglect. Yes, they sometimes occur together, but they are not one.
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Your path simply teaches her that she can do whatever she wants...which I think EVERYONE would agree is a bad thing to carry into adulthood.
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She CAN do whatever she wants, same with you or I. We are individuals; we have free will. Trying to keep her from doing what she wants is a losing battle.
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And make no mistake, this is where you start instilling those adult values.
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What are some adult values? How about respect? You are an individual with your own wishes and desires, and so is that 5 year old girl. If you don't instill her with respect by giving it to her, her teen years are going to be a nightmare, and you will have already lost her. You can only pray that she will come back someday.
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You do NOT have to give in to show a child that you love them...indeed, quite the opposite. You SHOULD NOT GIVE IN when you KNOW you are doing the right thing (this is not to say that you should never give in...sometimes it is important to pick your battles).
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Unless your child is directly putting themselves in danger, no one should have a right to control their lives. Putting an invisible leash on them will only serve to put a rift between the both of you. A child can't develop self-discipline without being respected, so all you have left in your efforts to keep them from being a niussance is fear.
Look, it doesn't matter how old a person is, if you treat them like children, they're going to act like children. Look at high schools, look at nursing homes, and then look at that 5 year old girl. That five year old girl is smarter than you think, but you'll never know it unless you give her a chance.