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I thing you NEED to bring up those emails. Start with the 'well you're dating him' line and bring up the emails you found. Don't let her turn it around with her getting upset about you snooping (most guilty parties would try to). Something is going on and it's been going on for FOUR MONTHS. It's possible that nothing (sexual) has happened but that point is irrelevant. The only relevant issue is that she's been having some sort of a relationship with a guy for FOUR MONTHS and she's never mentioned it to you.
The marriage stuff is a side issue, I don't get why so many posters have been distracted by it. You may be misleading about your long term intentions but it in no way justifies her outside relationships.
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