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Originally Posted by la petite moi
However, if hypothetically you were beating on your boyfriend while you were both drunk, and he punched you back (perhaps not knowing his own strength and not restraining himself because of drunkenness), could you really blame him for defending himself?
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I realized this after I wrote that, since the original story was that she was hitting him first.
In that case, he is still not justified but then again neither would I be. Two wrongs don't make a right and all that. The injustice of it is mitigated, however. The problem we're talking about, I think, comes when she has a black eye and he doesn't. If I'm beating on my boyfriend he should be capable of getting out of the situation without giving me a black eye, unless it's one of the extreme situations like people have described in this thread.
Years ago, I was very drunk, crazy and belligerent one night and started hitting a guy I was with. He sat there and told me to stop, with increasing firmness, until I got the message and stopped. He did the right thing and I was totally in the wrong. When I realized what had happened later and thought about it, I was humbled and respected him for how he handled it. Any time we give in to our baser instincts like I did that night, we're just making the world an uglier place to live in. He counteracted that by acting according to his higher nature. If I hadn't stopped, he could still have shoved me out the door and stopped the situation without injuring me. Luckily I didn't hurt him.
I don't think being drunk excuses these kinds of acts, either. The guy in the story above had also been drinking that night and he managed alright.