If only as adults we could remember the childhood adage "I'm made out of rubber you're made out of glue, whatever you say to me, bounces off of me and sticks to you."
Personally I tend to avoid a lot of "offensive" words. I'm the peacemaker type of personality so will avoid the confrontation if I can.
On the other hand, I feel that if I become offended because of something someone said to me or about me my offence is a reaction. I dislike being reactionary because I'm giving the other person control over my emotions.
I'd like to think that I can avoid being offended most time. It's not that it doesn't happen. In most cases I feel like the resonsibility lies 60% with the offender and 60% with the offended. Unfortunately that only exists in an utopia. It's the goal that we should strive for.
As for Nigga - as was mentioned before, a lot of it has to do with the motives behind using the word. I had several black friends in college and on occaision I did call my girlfriend Nigger Girl. She KNEW my motives were without malice and so never took offense. A stranger on the street would not know my motives so it would be wiser for me to avoid the term in the general public. There are so many other words in the English language that I'm not loosing much of my vocabulary.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.
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