Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

BigBen · 04-14-2005, 02:32 PM

Okay, sorry about not posting sooner, but as I walk through this in my head, I lose track of time. Just imagine, I had to go to work this morning and put on a happy face…

We had a good talk, and the subject came around to our relationship and how we were doing as a couple. I commented that the past little while there have been noticeable changes, and that I was concerned with the way she has been acting.

She just started a new job, and the people there were “Really friendly” so she said. No Big Deal, I said. I was glad that she was enjoying her new job, so I didn’t get nervous when she started hanging out with her new co-workers more and more.

Then I found out that a lot of the new co-workers she was hanging out with were male. Then she started making references about this one particular guy, over and over. I started to frown when his name was mentioned, but kept my mouth shut. Not one conversation was had that his name was not brought up… “Well, _____ said this, _______ is so funny, _______ had a bad day at work today and I felt sorry for him…” You get the idea.

Again, I am a very trusting guy. She earned my trust over a long time. I phoned her cell yesterday (was it just yesterday? It seems so long ago) and asked her if she had time for lunch. She sounded like she was in the car driving. The car was in the shop.

“What ya doing?” I said casually, thinking that she picked the car up early.
“I’m having lunch with ______.” She said with a very weird voice.

Then I posted this thread. Then I looked at what I had written and realized that I had been in denial all along, and I needed to wake the fuck up and do something.

Couple of replies said “Talk to her” which is pretty obvious (thanks for saying it anyway) and so I decided to bring up the subject.

She said we have drifted apart over the past 6 months.
We have nothing in common.
She feels alone, even when I am in the same room (ouch)
She needs someone to talk to that can understand what she is going through in her job, and only a co-worker can understand.

Well, I laid it on the line and said, “Are you sleeping with _____?”

She didn’t say a word.
She didn’t have to.

Well, she got up to go to work this morning very early, and I didn’t hear her go. I usually do. I am empty folks. I don’t even want to think about lawyers, or divorces, or anything like that. That will come eventually. I can’t stay married to someone who did that to me.

I need to find a place to live.
I need to sort out my finances (since everything is joint accounts, joint bills, everything)
I need to pack
I need to sort out who owns what, as far as furniture goes
I need to explain to friends, family what is going on
I need to relax and breathe and not worry about all this stuff at once.

We have a spare room, which I will be using until I can figure shit out. That might take a while.

Well, thanks for taking the time to listen. I think about the number of people that are reading this, and the amount of combined time that you guys are thinking about me and showing your support for me by the PM’s, and it lifts my spirits…

If 40 people gave 6 minutes reading this, then I have received 4 hours (math? Did I do the math right on that one?) of someone’s time thinking about nothing but me. I am not a needy person, but that feels good.

I’ve only been on here since January, and have come to love it here. Thanks you guys.

04-14-2005, 02:32 PM	#32 (permalink)
BigBen Comedian Location: Use the search button	Okay, sorry about not posting sooner, but as I walk through this in my head, I lose track of time. Just imagine, I had to go to work this morning and put on a happy face… We had a good talk, and the subject came around to our relationship and how we were doing as a couple. I commented that the past little while there have been noticeable changes, and that I was concerned with the way she has been acting. She just started a new job, and the people there were “Really friendly” so she said. No Big Deal, I said. I was glad that she was enjoying her new job, so I didn’t get nervous when she started hanging out with her new co-workers more and more. Then I found out that a lot of the new co-workers she was hanging out with were male. Then she started making references about this one particular guy, over and over. I started to frown when his name was mentioned, but kept my mouth shut. Not one conversation was had that his name was not brought up… “Well, _____ said this, _______ is so funny, _______ had a bad day at work today and I felt sorry for him…” You get the idea. Again, I am a very trusting guy. She earned my trust over a long time. I phoned her cell yesterday (was it just yesterday? It seems so long ago) and asked her if she had time for lunch. She sounded like she was in the car driving. The car was in the shop. “What ya doing?” I said casually, thinking that she picked the car up early. “I’m having lunch with ______.” She said with a very weird voice. Then I posted this thread. Then I looked at what I had written and realized that I had been in denial all along, and I needed to wake the fuck up and do something. Couple of replies said “Talk to her” which is pretty obvious (thanks for saying it anyway) and so I decided to bring up the subject. She said we have drifted apart over the past 6 months. We have nothing in common. She feels alone, even when I am in the same room (ouch) She needs someone to talk to that can understand what she is going through in her job, and only a co-worker can understand. Well, I laid it on the line and said, “Are you sleeping with _____?” She didn’t say a word. She didn’t have to. Well, she got up to go to work this morning very early, and I didn’t hear her go. I usually do. I am empty folks. I don’t even want to think about lawyers, or divorces, or anything like that. That will come eventually. I can’t stay married to someone who did that to me. I need to find a place to live. I need to sort out my finances (since everything is joint accounts, joint bills, everything) I need to pack I need to sort out who owns what, as far as furniture goes I need to explain to friends, family what is going on I need to relax and breathe and not worry about all this stuff at once. We have a spare room, which I will be using until I can figure shit out. That might take a while. Well, thanks for taking the time to listen. I think about the number of people that are reading this, and the amount of combined time that you guys are thinking about me and showing your support for me by the PM’s, and it lifts my spirits… If 40 people gave 6 minutes reading this, then I have received 4 hours (math? Did I do the math right on that one?) of someone’s time thinking about nothing but me. I am not a needy person, but that feels good. I’ve only been on here since January, and have come to love it here. Thanks you guys. __________________ 3.141592654 Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.