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Ben, I'm so sorry...
Cheating happens for a variety of reasons, but because of the ones you listed when you just thought she might be, it makes me kinda think that this guy was giving her something emotionally that she thought she couldn't/wasn't/didn't get from you, whether that's true or not.
I hope things work out for you, no matter how that happens. No one deserves to be cheated on, and I just hope that you can heal so as not to have a lack of being able to trust again later on.
Good luck, man.
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~*~* He with a sharp tongue slits his own throat *~*~
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