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One time I really had to take a crap, and had no choice but to go in a nasty K-Mart bathroom with one broken sink. A friend of mine was making fun of me over my mad dash through the store and subsequent lack of ability to wash my hands. I got the last laugh though, when a few hours later we were at a junkyard and the urge struck him. He ended up ducking behind a Ford Taurus and squatting over a wheel.
Anyone who can't comprehend having to take a dump under less than ideal conditions has never been through a night of heavy drinking.
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