Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Just been cheated on, but I still love her

wolf · 04-13-2005, 08:42 AM

If you count 11 years being together, that is a long time, longer than some marriages. You have to do what is right for you. If you want to try to work it out, then you should. This is going to take some time. You aren't going to wake up tomorrow and say, ok, forgiven, but not forgotten. There will be a healing process, there always is. Right now you are hurt, you have basically been stabbed in the heart. Next you are going to get over the hurt and probably get pissed. Try not to act on the pissed off emotions, this is where many people walk away. Then you will go into sad/depressed, and finally acceptance. At the point of acceptance, take a step back and see how you feel. If you feel like you want to work it out and she is willing to stop cheating, then you will be able to. If you feel like it isn't going to work because you can't stop seeing her with another guy, then walk. Don't second guess yourself either, you're first instinct at this point will be right. I have a friend who cheated on his wife and left her, now he really regrets it.

Make sure to communicate with her exactly what you are feeling. Don't bottle it up, you'll only hurt yourself.

04-13-2005, 08:42 AM	#55 (permalink)
wolf Ravenous Location: Right Behind You	If you count 11 years being together, that is a long time, longer than some marriages. You have to do what is right for you. If you want to try to work it out, then you should. This is going to take some time. You aren't going to wake up tomorrow and say, ok, forgiven, but not forgotten. There will be a healing process, there always is. Right now you are hurt, you have basically been stabbed in the heart. Next you are going to get over the hurt and probably get pissed. Try not to act on the pissed off emotions, this is where many people walk away. Then you will go into sad/depressed, and finally acceptance. At the point of acceptance, take a step back and see how you feel. If you feel like you want to work it out and she is willing to stop cheating, then you will be able to. If you feel like it isn't going to work because you can't stop seeing her with another guy, then walk. Don't second guess yourself either, you're first instinct at this point will be right. I have a friend who cheated on his wife and left her, now he really regrets it. Make sure to communicate with her exactly what you are feeling. Don't bottle it up, you'll only hurt yourself. __________________ Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.