I-Told-You-So, Army Style:
I-Told-You-So never did anyone any good, and results in a beating more often than not. Like the civilian world, you are never allowed to say those words to someone of a higher rank than you. It is usually good practice to just shut up before you say anything that could be found out as a good idea after the fact…
Oh, you want to turn left up there, sergeant? Everyone knows that we should be going right, but if I said it, I could then say “I Told You So” when we turn around and walk back here eight hours from now. If I am doing the math properly, the Shit that you will make me do if I say something will account for about 10 hours of labour. Walking for four hours the wrong direction and then back still gives me 2 hours to spare. Carry-on.
Remember your career, ladies and gentleman, when you are computing the above equation.
I told a Warrant once, “I think you have the map upside-down Warrant” to which he said, “You know what? I think you are right. I also seem to have the LEAVE SCHEDULE UPSIDE DOWN TOO…” (I was the next on the list for leave. I was then put to the bottom of the pile).
An exception to this rule is safety: If there is a possibility that someone’s stupidity could get someone hurt, the lowest rank can say something without fear of retribution. I once heard “Maybe we should reconfigure the order of those actions, Sergeant.” A private said.
“And who put you in charge, shithead?” came the reply.
“I was just hoping that the fire could be extinguished BEFORE you made me carry the jerrycans of fuel across the line there…”
“Oh, yeah, sure, we COULD do it that way I guess…” the sergeant says quickly, and carries on.
This may sound silly, but I actually like it when shit gets dangerous, because people start to cooperate more, and everyone gets their two cents in. Almost democratic.
Speaking of “Map & Compass” training, I have a pet peeve to air out in the open here:
There are two words to the phrase “Map & Compass” training, and as a result the properly trained soldier will use both of those tools to accomplish an orienteering mission. Why is it then that people take a bearing and start to march towards the objective, oblivious to the terrain or the corresponding map?
I cannot tell you how many swamps/bushes/streams/festering holes I have walked through while seeing a dry path on the map. LOOK AT YOUR MAP. If there is an easier, faster, DRIER way to get there, how about we try that way instead of relying on your compass? Imagine a 3/4/5 triangle. Geometry says that you can get to point B by travelling in a straight line from A, which you will travel a distance of 5. You can alternatively go to point C on the way, avoiding the swamp, hills, cactus and poison ivy that lie on line segment AB and your route will only be a distance of 7. I don’t think that I have ever convinced one of my instructors or commanders the simple concept that you readers understand.
