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i'm usually against telling people to just run away... but i honestly think you should just move on without this girl. you need to find stability within yourself before you're ready to bring another person into your life. otherwise you become completely dependent on them and they become the center of your world... which does not equal a healthy relationship, let alone a healthy lifestyle.
it will hurt and it will take time, but it's time to reflect on your past, learn from your mistakes, and then move on. things will get better, but you need to free yourself first.
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