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This is one of those situations where cliches prove to be true. Rip off the bandaid instead of slowly pulling it off. You've got 11 years under the bridge, one of the benefits to that should be not having to wonder if you trust her. Not to go all mushy on you, but a relationship is a separate entity. Once it is broken, all the logical desires to fix it are for naught. Suck it up brother!
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