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You mentioned the fact that the women immediately have the emotional bond of being able to talk to each other and interact on that emtional level, to me that's where the difference lies.
"Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex."
With other women they start with that emotional attachment inherently, or at least when I've observed this myself they assume that bond and the relationship moves from there. When interacting with men that bond isn't perceived for whatever reason and therefore all the automatic defensive systems that they've been perfecting for their entire lives kick in and force the courtship. A lot of them just view men as a potential threat which drives a wedge into the situation and is another quality that they don't see in other women.
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Halfway to hell and picking up speed.
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