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The5thCandidate · 04-04-2005, 10:02 PM

Isn't it a curious circumstance that we should have to deal with such things?

I knew she was in trouble the moment I saw her, but I could not, no matter how hard I tried, figure out a decent way to ask her what was wrong. She was sweating and slouching and her eyes where very confusing and all I could do was stand there and try immensely hard not to stare at her and poke the grass with my foot and crack my jaw as though I were planning on saying something, although I was really just trying to look like I had a plan to speak. I had nothing to say to her. No, that's not true at all; I had a million things to say to her, just no idea what those things were. I was so lost in my inability to communicate that I managed to say only a single thing. I was sniffing, to try and keep myself busy while I thought of something to say, and all I could think of was: "Jesus, this frigging cold."

"You've got a cold?" she asked, pleasantly.

Oh crap, I thought to myself, that's not what I meant at all. If I tell her I've got a cold, not only am I lying, but she's going to be afraid of me, I'll be just a massive wad of disgusting germs and mucus. If I tell her that that's not what I meant she'll feel dumb for feeling sorry for an ailment that I never had and I'll feel guilty for saying anything to upset her and then I'll panic and say something so dumb that she'll probably barf with the sheer horror of my ridiculous lack of social grace. I'm such a god damned mental case, I ought to just check myself into some asylum and have them take care of me, keep me where I can no longer do any harm. What a fucking mess.

So anyway, I stood there for about ten seconds trying to think of what I should do, and eventually, she just looked at me funny, looked around to see if anyone else was there that she could get some help from, and then turned awkwardly around and left me there. I stayed standing there staring at the back of her head until she was out of view, a good thirty more seconds, and then I also turned around and proceeded to stare at that side of the room for another thirty seconds. Then I screamed so loud that, although this may seem extremely preposterous and entirely unbelievable, I tore something in my throat and began coughing up blood. I was sick for the next four days, coughing up the blood I didn't swallow and barfing up the blood that I did swallow.

04-04-2005, 10:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
The5thCandidate Crazy Location: East coast of Canada	Isn't it a curious circumstance that we should have to deal with such things? I knew she was in trouble the moment I saw her, but I could not, no matter how hard I tried, figure out a decent way to ask her what was wrong. She was sweating and slouching and her eyes where very confusing and all I could do was stand there and try immensely hard not to stare at her and poke the grass with my foot and crack my jaw as though I were planning on saying something, although I was really just trying to look like I had a plan to speak. I had nothing to say to her. No, that's not true at all; I had a million things to say to her, just no idea what those things were. I was so lost in my inability to communicate that I managed to say only a single thing. I was sniffing, to try and keep myself busy while I thought of something to say, and all I could think of was: "Jesus, this frigging cold." "You've got a cold?" she asked, pleasantly. Oh crap, I thought to myself, that's not what I meant at all. If I tell her I've got a cold, not only am I lying, but she's going to be afraid of me, I'll be just a massive wad of disgusting germs and mucus. If I tell her that that's not what I meant she'll feel dumb for feeling sorry for an ailment that I never had and I'll feel guilty for saying anything to upset her and then I'll panic and say something so dumb that she'll probably barf with the sheer horror of my ridiculous lack of social grace. I'm such a god damned mental case, I ought to just check myself into some asylum and have them take care of me, keep me where I can no longer do any harm. What a fucking mess. So anyway, I stood there for about ten seconds trying to think of what I should do, and eventually, she just looked at me funny, looked around to see if anyone else was there that she could get some help from, and then turned awkwardly around and left me there. I stayed standing there staring at the back of her head until she was out of view, a good thirty more seconds, and then I also turned around and proceeded to stare at that side of the room for another thirty seconds. Then I screamed so loud that, although this may seem extremely preposterous and entirely unbelievable, I tore something in my throat and began coughing up blood. I was sick for the next four days, coughing up the blood I didn't swallow and barfing up the blood that I did swallow. __________________ Muthtard?! Don't let'th be thilly. Lemon, now that'th different...