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Story about Cierah's question: I was the maid of honor in a wedding where the bride's parents were "cut off" from attending. This was because the parents disliked her choice in men so much (for no good reason; the guy was one of my close friends and was by no means someone you'd expect parents to dislike) that they refused his request to have her hand in marriage. He was trying to respect them by asking them directly, but they said no, and from that point on the bride basically divorced herself from them. She disinvited them from the wedding, and when they turned her two sisters on her to persuade her otherwise, she disinvited them as well.
Now, she didn't enjoy doing any of this, but she was convinced that it was the only way to be true to herself and be happy, in the end. Personally, as I watched this all go down, I felt very uncomfortable... maybe because my mother's side is Asian and therefore no one would EVER do something like that and disown their family, no matter how much we disliked each other. There is just too much obligation and reciprocity among us... they took care of me, I should grow up and do the same.
At the time I thought that if I was in that situation, my SO and I would do whatever possible to amend relations with all involved BEFORE getting married, just so as to have peace on that day and to start off on a good foot. If that meant delaying the wedding a while, fine. Why start off life together with such painfully burned bridges?
But that's just me. For my friend, she was willing to sacrifice her entire family to get what she really wanted. Maybe in some weird way that's impressive. How many of us would be "brave" (?) enough to do that? I don't know. What are they going to do when they have kids, I wonder...
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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran
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